A Co-Parenting Agreement or Known Sperm Donor Agreement
If you are a single woman or lesbian couple considering using a known sperm donor or entering a co-parenting arrangement it is wise to arrange for a documented parenting agreement with the father of your child before conception takes place.
He said this, she said that
There have been legal cases over the past decade highlighting casual known sperm donor agreements between women and their donor whereby arrangements were discussed prior to conception yet nothing was documented. In this situation a court is faced to deliberate between two versions of accounts about conversations that took place and what was apparently agreed. The child’s welfare in a situation like this would form the forefront of the court’s decision.
Clarity and evidence for all parties involved
A simply written document provides clarity and evidence for all parties involved. The detail in a known sperm donor agreement can range from a simple statement about future parenting to a detailed account of child access and contact to schooling and special occasions. The spectrum you wish to cover is up to you and should be personal to you. A written agreement will set strong foundations for your parenting life.
An example of a co-parenting agreement.
Your co-parenting agreement does not have to be some fancy piece of script with a load of legal jargon that nobody understands. It can be a piece of paper with simple sentences, paragraphs and lists of the things that are important to you as parents-to-be. Your agreement should be clear, concise and signed.
Writing a co-parenting agreement is not easy however it is necessary to protect everyone’s rights as parents and prevent heartache in the event of a fallout. Discuss each of your roles, be as clear and honest as you can and try to think day to day practicalities.
A co-parenting agreement does not need to be witnessed by a solicitor
Known sperm donor agreements are not legally binding under UK law so they would not replace parental financial and legal responsibilities however agreements do provide clear evidence of what each party agreed prior to conception and they do stand up in a court of law if there is a dispute. A co-parenting agreement does not need to be witnessed by a solicitor in order for it to be formalised however gaining legal advice before entering a co-parenting arrangement would carry weight in a court if there was a legal battle.
Two parents or three parents?
A child can legally only have two parents even if there are three or more people are involved in the process of making the baby. The birth mother is always the legal mother and by law she must be registered on the birth certificate. The other legal parent is the spouse of the birth mother (wife or legal partner) or possibly the biological father. Find out more information here about parenting rights of sperm donors.
If a lesbian couple are entering a co-parenting arrangement with a sperm donor and they are married or civil partnered then they must both be on the birth certificate as they automatically share parental responsibility. If they are not married they can choose to register the sperm donor on the birth certificate. By doing this it would give parental responsibility to the sperm donor.
Whether you spend hours writing a thorough documented co-parenting agreement or 10 minutes jotting your personal parenting preferences get your agreement written and signed before conception.
