How do I use sperm donor websites safely?

Co-ParentMatch Networking Advice

By becoming a member of Co-ParentMatch.com you have already made your most important step in becoming a parent. We recognise that creating an online profile and starting the networking process can be a daunting task for anyone. By creating a comprehensive profile of yourself and/or your partner will allow other members to select as many attributes from your profile as possible, therefore creating a potential positive match. Take your time when creating your profile, stipulating all your requirements in a clear set out manner.

Networking Advice

You’re Profile

Profile Language

Searching for Your Co-Parent Match

Selecting Your Co-Parent Match

Meeting Your Co-Parent Match

Communicating with Your Co-ParentMatch

Your Co-Parent Match Experiences

Co-ParentMatch Safety Advice

Profile Content

Legal 

Health

Natural Insemination

Payment for Sperm

Related Pages:

Search for Your Match

How it Works

FAQ's

Payments

You’re Co-ParentMatch Profile

You have to imagine your profile as being in a shop window - In order for your profile to be seen to the largest amount of members it is important that your profile has been comprehensively completed showing not only your country/location and age, but also personal information about you and what you are looking for in your potential match. Include a profile image of yourself, as profiles are more likely to be responded to when a profile image is displayed. The more photo images uploaded , the greater the chance of other members viewing your profile. Remember, that as a basic member you are able to search through other profiles for Free. However, to communicate with your potential match you must be a Premium Member.

Profile Language Used

It is important that you complete your personal profile section in as much detail as possible to give other members an idea of what you are like. Be clear about what your expectations and requirements are so that your parameters are clearly defined and explained from the start. Be truthful in your descriptive section to avoid any future miscommunication taking place. Try to use simple and clear language that others will understand when reading through your profile. Any offensive or abusive language that is found to be not only within your profile but also as part of communication between you and your potential match, will be immediately investigated and if deemed inappropriate or not falling within the terms and conditions and code of conduct for the site, will result in you being permanently removed from the site and information relayed to outside parties where necessary. By breaking these terms and conditions relating to code of conduct, you waiver your rights to continue being a member within the Co-ParentMatch.com website.

Searching for Other Co-Parent Matches

It is vitally important that when creating your personal profile, that you not only complete ‘About You’ section, but also about your potential match. Co-ParentMatch.com will regularly send you specific matches based on your search criteria, you will then be notified of all potential matches that match your criteria within the location parameters set. If your profile search criteria is not fully complete then this will reduce the amount of potential matches that can be referred to you every time you log into the system. For example, if you specify in your search criteria that you wish to seek a gay single male within a 50 mile radius from you and save this search, then the system will select those members that fit that search criteria. By creating specific search criteria, you are reducing the amount of unsuitable member profiles and are homing in on the crucial ones for your search therefore improving your chances of meeting the right parenting match.

Selecting your Co-Parent Match

Once you have come to the decision to select your perfect co-parenting match, you can then start an open dialogue of communication, don’t be afraid to proactively look through the profiles you like and send the first message! Co-ParentMatch.com recognises that you may wish to communicate outside the parameters of this website, however, we highly recommend that all correspondence is initially completed through the internal messaging system in order to protect the safety and security of yourself. This is also enforced to ensure that all correspondence is kept should it be required at a later stage. Co-ParentMatch.com will not be held liable for any repercussions as a result of communicating outside of the realms of this website.

Preparing to Meet Your Co-ParentMatch

Co-ParentMatch.com has a series of recommendations that you should follow in the lead up to the meeting of your potential parent match:

• Build a level of trust between you and your match before fully embarking on this journey, trust in yourself and own instincts
• Meet in open places until a significant level of trust has been built up between you and your match
• Dont feel forced or pressured into anything as YOU are completely in control from the start
• Report any inappropriate behaviour from other members immediately - and we will investigate accordingly and where necessary remove the member from the website permanently
• Tell a friend, family member etc of where you are meeting and length of duration of each meeting that takes place
• Be clear about your requirements and ensure that your match is aware of this prior to your meeting
• Obtain all required proof of ID documents and ALL health checks prior to or on the first meeting taking place
• We strongly recommend that you seek the services of a registered fertility clinic to commence safely with your fertility treatment and carry out all appropriate health and ID checks, if your donor is not willing to do this, then think about their reasons and intentions. We understand that not all members wish to choose the same "method of conception", that is fine, as long as joint decisions are made from the start. If you decide to take the private donor route, we strongly suggest that you seek ID (i.e Passport or Driving Licence), Enhanced Disclosure CRB vetting and ALL health test results from your donor prior to carrying out the home insemination

Code of Conduct when communicating with Your Co-Parent Match

Co-ParentMatch.com has a ‘report’ and ‘block’ service for all members to use to report abuse or block members from corresponding with you. As part of agreeing to our terms and conditions of service and privacy policy we ask all members to maintain a professional dialogue between themselves and other members and not to use inappropriate language when accessing the site. Members found to be not adhering to our code of conduct, or found to be not using the site with genuine intentions will immediately be removed and prevented from further accessing the site. If you feel that you have been inappropriately approached or need to report a member for inappropriate behaviour or language, we ask to contact us immediately to carry out further investigations.

Your Co-Parent Match Experiences

Co-ParentMatch.com recognises that this is just the start of this parenting journey, and that not all of your encounters and communication with other members will result in a perfect match! Don’t be disillusioned if you haven’t yet found your perfect co-parenting partner, keep using your search criteria and messaging system until you find a profile that meets all of your criteria and more importantly, where a level of trust can be built, you can start your parenting journey together.

Co-ParentMatch Safety Advice

Co-ParentMatch.com has a mission statement which is “To enable loving alternative families to be created by matching like minded individuals in their pursuit to become a parent”. The site is regulated daily and we do our utmost to ensure that only genuine members use our services. We monitor site usage and maintain open communication networks with all our members. Any members reported to Co-ParentMatch.com found to be in breach of our code of conduct or behaving inappropriately are immediately removed from the website.

Co-ParentMatch.com recognises that this is just the start of this parenting journey, and that each individual member will communicate differently. It is important to emphasise that “You are the one in Control”, you set your parameters and requirements and stick by these. Take your time to get to know your potential match, relationships can only be built on establishing strong foundations and trust between two individuals, given that this decision will be one of the greatest decisions to make in your life, take the time to build trust between you and your match, and where possible, seek the services of a HFEA Licenced Clinic in embarking on this journey.

Profile Content

Be honest, truthful; maintain open communication, specifying what your requirements and intentions are from the start and follow these through. Draw up co-parenting agreements or a legal contract where required, refer to our fertility law section to gain an understanding of where you legally lie in terms of moving forward with this journey. Co-ParentMatch.com recommends that you only correspond with Premium Member profiles and those that have taken time to upload photographs within their profile.

Legal Contract

Co-ParentMatch.com strongly recommends that you consider drawing up a legal contract before embarking on this parenting quest as it can help in the agreement and setting up of decisions that will relate to the child's upbringing.

We would suggest you seek legal representation and/or counselling before you both sign up to any legal contract as there are many legal issues and problems which could arise in such arrangements which you may want to consider. Co-ParentMatch.com recommends that you consider every aspect of your agreement in full and if you are in a position to do so, gain some legal advice before embarking on your journey.

Some co-parents and donors sign contracts that cover many issues from the procedure of insemination through to child access. Co-ParentMatch.com also recommends that member's consider undertaking a CRB (Criminal Records Bureau) check on potential co-parent partners/donors.

Health

What medical tests should our donor and/or recipient have done?

Co-ParentMatch strongly recommends that you discuss and undertake rigorous health screening checks with your potential match before entering into an agreement. Testing for general sexual health and HIV can be carried out free at your local Genito-Urinary Medicine (GUM) clinic or seek advice through your GP on what tests to undertake. We have listed some tests that we would recommend you consider and would also suggest that you undertake professional advice from your local GP / health clinic on additional tests that may be required as part of the screening process:

• HIV Antibody (AIDS test)
• Chlamydia
• Gonorrhoea
• Syphilis
• Hepatitis B
• Hepatitis C

A HIV test may not prove positive until three months after infection therefore following an initial test you may chose to have another test further down the line to identify whether your match has put themselves at risk within this time.

By choosing a licensed clinic the donor will have no legal obligation to the child and will not be named as the legal parent on the birth certificate. Sperm donated outside of a licensed clinic would result in the donor becoming the child’s legal father thus giving them all rights and responsibilities that it would involve. *Variations to this law may occur depending on the marital status of the recipients and the country of donation.

Safety

What should I do if my donor suggests natural insemination (N.I.) and I don’t want to?

Co-ParentMatch.com recommends members choose the safest option which is to go through a licensed fertility clinic. If you choose to pursue the private route there are a range of methods available including home insemination or natural insemination. However these processes carry significant health risks.

We strongly recommend if you choose natural insemination this is a full consenting agreement between both parties and should be carried out somewhere safe. Where possible you should let a friend or relative know your intentions and whereabouts. You should at no time be pressured into having sexual intercourse if you choose not to do so. If you feel the donor is behaving inappropriately please report this to us immediately and we will investigate and take appropriate action.

Ensuring your donor has an enhanced criminal records bureau (CRB) check is a safe way to ensure your donor has no previous history of unlawful behaviour.

At Co-ParentMatch.com we do our utmost to ensure that only genuine users access this website by issuing a membership fee and closely monitoring the site, we therefore ask that members be sure to only correspond with Premium Members via the internal messaging system.

Co-ParentMatch.com are not responsible for the actions of two consenting adults outside of the remit of this website.

What should I do if my donor requests payment for sperm?

It is illegal in several countries, including the UK, to sell sperm. However donors are allowed to request reasonable expenses incurred in connection with the donation process, for example travel costs.
Please ensure that any financial agreements in relation to associated expenses are jointly agreed prior to donation. We strongly recommend that recipients DO NOT send money to donors before donation occurs in order to ensure that no fraudulent or scamming activity takes place.

Any reasonable payments made should be at the point of meeting and not prior to, both adults must be happy to consent and move forward. Any recipients approached by sperm donors looking for the payment of sperm should report this immediately to Co-ParentMatch.com, upon which they will be removed from the website. For more information on donating sperm please visit the National Gamete Donation Trust at http://www.ngdt.co.uk.